Support the Eight I Really Rather You Didn'ts Weekend

In honor of the Blog Against Theocracy weekend we have decided to post the Eight “I’d Really Rather You Didn’ts” from the Gospel of The Flying Spaghetti Monster. As a Pastafarian i believe it is only fair! If you are not familiar with the FSM (flying spaghetti monster) and Pastafarians here is the official website www.venganza.org


Congress is now considering a Ten Commandments Weekend. Kind of interesting that the same bunch of people are guilty of breaking most of these commandments...... Thou shall not kill? Lie? Steal? etc........

From the Blog Against Theocracy we have this quote. "Sam Brownback (R-KS) introduced S. Res. 483, a resolution "recognizing the first weekend of May 2008 as 'Ten Commandments Weekend,'" which has been referred to the Senate Judiciary Committee. The resolution has one co-sponsor -- Joe Lieberman."


Captain Mosey and the Eight “I’d Really Rather You Didn’ts”

While brooding atop Mount Salsa because he couldn't find a pirate ship, Mosey the Pirate captain received some advice from the Flying Spaghetti Monster in the form of ten stone tablets. These were called the “I’d Really Rather You Didn’ts” by the FSM, the “Commandments” by Mosey, and the “Condiments” by his Pirate gang. While there were originally ten “I’d Really Rather You Didn’ts”, two were dropped on the way back down the mountain, with eight remaining. This event “partly accounts for Pastafarians’ flimsy moral standards”. The FSM’s commandments address the treatment of people of other faiths, worship of the FSM, sexual conduct, and nutrition.

The Eight “I’d Really Rather You Didn’ts”

1. I’d really rather you didn’t act like a sanctimonious holier-than-thou ass when describing my noodly goodness. If some people don’t believe in me, that’s okay. Really, I'm not that vain. Besides, this isn’t about them so don’t change the subject.

2. I’d really rather you didn’t use my existence as a means to oppress, subjugate, punish, eviscerate, and/or, you know, be mean to others. I don’t require sacrifices, and purity is for drinking water, not people.

3. I’d really rather you didn’t judge people for the way they look, or how they dress, or the way they talk, or, well, just play nice, Okay? Oh, and get this into your thick heads: woman = person. man = person. Samey = Samey. One is not better than the other, unless we’re talking about fashion and I'm sorry, but I gave that to women and some guys who know the difference between teal and fuchsia.

4. I’d really rather you didn’t indulge in conduct that offends yourself, or your willing, consenting partner of legal age AND mental maturity. As for anyone who might object, I think the expression is go fuck yourself, unless they find that offensive in which case they can turn off the TV for once and go for a walk for a change.

5. I’d really rather you didn’t challenge the bigoted, misogynistic, hateful ideas of others on an empty stomach. Eat, then go after the bitches.

6. I’d really rather you didn’t build multi million-dollar synagogues/churches/temples/mosques/shrines to my noodly goodness when the money could be better spent (take your pick):
1. Ending poverty
2. Curing diseases
3. Living in peace, loving with passion, and lowering the cost of cable
I might be a complex-carbohydrate omniscient being, but I enjoy the simple things in life. I ought to know. I AM the creator.

7. I’d really rather you didn’t go around telling people I talk to you. You’re not that interesting. Get over yourself. And I told you to love your fellow man, can’t you take a hint?

8. I’d really rather you didn’t do unto others as you would have them do unto you if you are into, um, stuff that uses a lot of leather/lubricant/vaseline. If the other person is into it, however (pursuant to #4), then have at it, take pictures, and for the love of Mike, wear a CONDOM! Honestly, it’s a piece of rubber. If I didn’t want it to feel good when you did it I would have added spikes, or something

Free Tibet!

For more info on the current situation of the Chinese occupation and killing of innocent Tibetans please visit www.freetibet.org

Recently a comment by a Republican Congressman Steve King made headlines. "If Obama wins, Al Queda will be dancing in the streets."

We think he got it wrong! If Obama wins.... we will be dancing in the streets on 1-20-09!

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John McCain Accused of Genocide

People are saying that in support of special interest groups John McCain unlawfully created legislation that forcibly removed and relocated 10,000 Navajo people to a nuclear waste site to fund his presidential campaigns for The White House. Over 2,500 of which have died as a result.

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by Kipper Mathews

"The Denih tribe of the Navajo people have accused Senator John McCain of genocide against their people through unlawfully obtained legislation he arranged in a deal with the energy companies of Peabody Western Coal Company (PWCC) and an affiliate of Bechtel, the Mojave Generating Company.

On their web site listed below they say McCain used a phony and unauthorized counsel of the Denih, to pass legislation know as the Navajo Resettlement and Navajo Accommodation Agreement, which authorized the U S government to evict and relocate 10,000 of it's people to Church's Hill, where the worst nuclear waste site that ever happened in the United States occurred.

He passed this legislation to allow PWCC to do strip mining for coal on their ancestral land to generate low cost electricity for Las Vegas Casinos.

As a sweetheart deal to go with it, McCain's wife was awarded a lucrative beverage sales deal with the casinos.

t is said by the Denih, that the forced relocation to the contaminated site has caused the death of more than 2,500 of those relocated, and those that were allowed to stay on their land are being exposed to toxic contamination as well due to the mining operations.

John McCain has used the "contributions" from this deal to help fund his Presidential bids.

To read the rest of this article go to www.nolanchart.com

McCain = More War

New from Planet Calamari!
Spread the word. McCain =More War.

Is that what we want? Does this country need 100 more years of war? Will the draft be reinstated if he is elected? Vote for Peace!

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Happy Birthday Dr Seuss

From Wikipedia:

Theodor Seuss Geisel (March 2, 1904 – September 24, 1991) was an American writer and cartoonist best known for his classic children's books under the pen name Dr. Seuss, including The Cat in the Hat, Green Eggs and Ham, How the Grinch Stole Christmas and One Fish Two Fish Red Fish Blue Fish. His books have become staples for many children and their parents. Among Dr. Seuss' trademarks were his rhyming text and his outlandish creatures. He wrote and illustrated 44 children's books. Many of his books have been adapted into short animated programs. His books The Cat in the Hat, The Grinch and Horton Hears a Who! have been adapted into feature films, and the musical Seussical

“The more that you read, the more things you will know. The more that you learn, the more places you'll go.”
- Dr Seuss