Happy Hysterectomy Cards at Planet Calamari Zazzle

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http://www.zazzle.com/planetcalamari/gifts?cg=196946742007702302

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http://www.zazzle.com/happy_hysterectomy_utie_goes_shopping_card-137372942978860007

What is the sound of Mercury going retrograde...

Today begins the 3 week period of the planet Mercury going retrograde. If you are not familiar with the term then i won't even try to explain the gory details. My simple explanation is - its going backwards causing chaos in communication and electrical devices. Always a handy thing to blame when you phone or computer dies. Here is a great website that gives more detail on how and why it happens with the effect it has on our lives.
http://www.alphalifetrends.com/mercuryretrograde.html


This chart is from the website http://www.findyourfate.com/astrology/year2012/2012-mercury-retrograde.html

2012 Mercury retrograde Guide

2012 Retrograde starts Date & Time	Position at Start	2012 Retrograde Ends Date & Time	Position at End
March 12, 2012 3:49 am EDT 12:49 am PDT	06:49 Aries	April 4, 2012 6:11 am EDT 3:11 am PDT	23:51 Pisces
July 14, 2012 10:16 pm EDT 7:16 pm PDT	12:32 Leo	August 7-8, 2012 1:40 am EDT (Aug 8) 10:40 pm PDT (Aug 7)	01:26 Leo
November 6, 2012 6:04 pm EST 3:04 pm PST	04:17 Sagittarius	November 26, 2012 5:48 pm EST 2:48 pm PST	18:11 Scorpio

For an inspirational view of how to survive Mercury Retrograde visit astrologer Lynn Haye's blog. She always has an interesting point of view and shares so much information. I love reading her posts.

 http://astrodynamics.net/astrologicalmusings/2012/07/15/sunday-inspiration-from-the-readers-trust-the-planets-dont-blame-them/

This Mercury retrograde i plan to just go with the flow.. stop trying to fight it and allow the Universe to direct the movie. I have a new line of pendants and door hangers with sacred images that will be featured soon on the Planet Calamari Etsy Shop. That is assuming this old ibook will survive Mercury dancing backwards these next few weeks!

Meanwhile enjoy 15% off everything with the coupon code MERCURY15 at http://www.etsy.com/shop/PlanetCalamari

Healing Amethyst Jewerly

This feminine bracelet and pair of earrings was created by crocheting strands of delicate pink non-tarnish wire along with weaved glass lavender beads and semiprecious amethyst chips. 

The gem stone Amethyst is used for healing on all levels, body, mind, and spirit. It is said to raise vibrational frequency and protects against negative energies. This stone carries a history of warding off drunkenness and helping provide a clean, sober mind. Placing the stone under your pillow or right on top of your head is supposed to bring about peaceful dreams and relieve pounding headaches. In Ancient Egypt, the stone was used to guard one from feelings of their own guilt. Violet Purple is the highest vibrational color of the spectrum. The color of royalty, magic and even worn by the Pope!

Amethyst is the birthstone of Aquarius (Water Bearer): Jan. 20 - Feb. 18) Amethyst is also the anniversary gemstone for the 4th and 6th year of marriage. 

See more at the Planet Calamari Etsy Shop

Don't Worry...Be Happy

Over the past month i had a life changing, mind altering experience. Two weeks of being wrought with anxiety and existing in a state of complete misery.

Against my better judgment, i took a new job at a place which was pure hell. I will not go into the gory details, as i am in the process of writing about that adventure in another blog post. I may never finish it or make it public. But it was a valuable lesson for me to always trust my first impression- which was RUN Forest RUN, after my interview!

But noooooo... i didn't run away, instead lured by five extra dollars an hour, i entered Dante's Inferno run by a crew of the nastiest people i have ever met contained in one office. I am sure there were pitchforks in the back. Ironically this was a Wellness Center! I consider myself a pretty tough cookie. Worked several odd jobs when i was younger and the scariest of them was at a Steel Mill. However this time i was kicked in the butt by a force i completely forgot about. Pure Nastiness! 

After coming home every night crying, with pounding heart palps and a painful stabbing in my solar plexus- i gave notice. What a relief to be out of the viper pit. Though i must say it took another two weeks to recover. Never have i had such a violent reaction working someplace that it not only effected my physical being, but my mental. Now i understand what panic attacks are. No amount of Rescue Remedy, Calms Forte, Valerian could quell the feeling i had every day driving to work.

I am grateful to have had the epiphany that the most important thing in life is to be happy. It sounds corny, cliche and oh so Bob Marley. But the reality is- if we are not happy - why bother? As i watch my father deteriorate and my God-parents as well i realize that life is way to short to be in a state of perpetual anxiety. Don't worry. Be Happy. I rather make way less money, work with people i love and come home to make art.

As my husband said "The________ Wellness Center is the Jack Bauer of the career decision world. It basically tortured you into making a career decison." Oh yeah-i forgot- i am an artist that wanted a job that allowed me to come home and create. (And eventually jump through all the hoops to procure another acupuncture license!)

And so now i am on my Be Happy World Tour of Life. Realizing that the Universe is happy to provide a few weeks of pure hell to make me appreciate that all along i was in heaven. It makes me wonder if God is really Woody Allen directing the movie of our lives? Oh Aunty Em.. there is no place like home. Home is where the Art is. No more snarky 20 year old flying monkeys, evil witches hovering over my shoulder or bad wizards hiding behind an X-ray curtain.

This past Memorial Day weekend i played and allowed my inner child to create!

 Planet Calamari Etsy Shop

All Be Happy t-shirts, buttons and bumper stickers are available at http://www.zazzle.com/planetcalamari  20% off through Tuesday 5/29/12 with code MEMORIAL2012.

And now please stand for the national anthem of the Be Happy World Tour. Click below to sing with the Prophet of Happiness, Bob Marley!

Memorial Day Sale Planet Calamari! 20% off everything!

Visit the Planet Calamari Etsy Shop to see more. Sale ends on Tuesday. Please use the code MEMORIAL2012 when checking out. Same code may be used at the Planet Calamari Zazzle Shop for 20% off everything too.

Red Rock Lobster Buffet Necklace & Soul Mate Earrings

Every time i walk into a restaurant with a lobster tank i feel the need to apologize to them. And needless to say, the B 52's song Rock Lobster plays in my head along with the infamous words of Phoebe Buffay, "He's her lobster!"




Phoebe: Hang in there. It's gonna happen!
Ross: Okay, now, how do you know that?
Phoebe: Because she's your lobster!
[At a loss, Ross looks at Chandler.]
Chandler: Oh, she's going somewhere.
Phoebe: Come on, you guys, it's a known fact that lobsters fall in love and mate for life. You know what, you can actually see old lobster couples walking around their tank, you know, holding claws…

Click here to watch this YouTube with Phoebe Buffay explaining why lobsters are soul mates.

Using recycled red plastic toy lobsters, non-tarnish black and vibrant pink wire, glass beads, teal fresh water pearls, faux pearls and the B52s singing in my head these pieces were created.




Want to hear the B 52s sing Rock Lobster?

See more crocheted wire jewelry on the Planet Calamari Etsy Shop

The Sound of One Rush Lip Flapping...

Dear Pasty White Old Men of the Republican Party and the Vatican,

On behalf of all women and their uteruses, i would like to ask you why you think you are qualified to determine what we are allowed or not allowed to do with our bodies. Don't you have enough to deal with walking around with that one eyed snake and two furry companions everyday? I bet most of you don't even know what the uterus does or where it really is. Do you really think that Bayer aspirin will work as an effective contraceptive? If so, then why have you not banned it for over the counter use? Do you even know where the ovaries are? What they do? Did you still think the Fallopian tubes are part of the internet invented by Al Gore? Or perhaps they are part of the Bridge to Nowhere in Alaska...

With all the attention and determination you have put into regulating the female body think of what you could really do if you focused that energy elsewhere. I am sure you could find better things to do with your power and money. How about starting by feeding the poor? Finding shelter for the homeless? Healthcare for those who cannot afford it. (Which is most of us in the lower middle class!) Stopping real crimes. I mean REAL crimes, like those crooks on Wall Street, Lobbyist, the Oil Lords, Drug Lords, and all those other holy men who think they are doing the Lord's work by molesting chidren. How about really making the world a safer place. A place where little old ladies can cross the street past sunset. Safe playgrounds, neighborhoods and schools. Find a real solution to global warming because no matter what you say.. it is REAL! (Is it hot in here or is it me? Oh wait it is 60 degrees today and it is March! A year ago today i was shoveling a foot of snow!)
Fix the broken tax system. (Or at least fix the damn pot holes in the street!)

When was the last time any of you boyz were pregnant? Had morning sickness? Bloated? Bled like a pig with debilitating cramps that had you curled up into a fetal position.... every month for let's say 30 years or so? Had a perpetual itchy yeast infection? Bladder infection? Menstrual migraine? Uterine fibroids? Breast cancer? Cervical cancer? Ovarian cancer? A tumor the size of a grapefruit nesting in your uterus? Can you even imagine surviving "The Oh My Goddess I Am Bursting Into Flames Hot Flashes" every day? How about night sweats? Don't even get me started on raging hormones causing acne, constipation, frizzy hair and weight gain!

If you are so concerned with the female body perhaps you could help us by promoting safe and healthy ways to stop our pain, excessive bleeding, bloating, hot flashes, night sweats, puking while carrying a large watermelon inside our bodies. Invent a way for us to be able to wear white pants every day of the month. Give every woman off with pay when she is menstruating or during menopause. Assign special parking spaces for pregnant women. (Do we really need 20 handicapped spaces at every grocery store?) Make acupuncture and alternative medicine available to all women and paid for by those slutty insurance companies that you are in bed with. (Speaking of sluts- may Rush Limbaugh reincarnate as a poor minority woman with 12 children, working at Wal-Mart who has been disqualified for welfare and lives with a perpetual burning, itchy yeast infection.)

Here is a link to boycott the sponsors of the Puff Toad Rush Limbaugh's show. CLICK HERE!)

And remember on voting day 2012..."Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned" We are Woman ... hear us roar!

Visit the Planet Calamari Screaming Uterus Shop for politically humorous art at Click Here!

Happy Birthday Dr Seuss!

Happy 83rd Birthday Mickey Mouse!

"I only hope that we never lose sight of one thing...
that it was all started by a mouse."
—Walt Disney, Disneyland; October 27, 1954

It was love at first sight the very first time i saw Mickey Mouse. Those ears, the gloves .... and the voice. What is it about him that makes him so special? Well first off he is so graphically correct. All those circles perfectly drawn into a jovial mouse. Very simple. Maybe almost zen? Therapy via cartoons.

I think Mickey Mouse's birthday should be a national holiday, with pay. Put on your mouse ears and sing along with the Mickey Mouse Club

Learn more about this infamous mouse at wikipedia

50% Off Blowout Planet Calamari Zazzle Shop

Friday November 18th 4 Hour Blowout Sale

Visit http://www.zazzle.com/planetcalamari

make custom gifts at Zazzle

Get a jump on your holiday shopping on Mickey Mouse's birthday. Unique designs inspired by acupuncture, Eastern Philosophy, Yoga, Meditation, and whimsical characters. Featuring the new Screaming Uterus Collection for ladies only.

Use code: FFHSHUGEDEAL is applied at checkout on or before November 18, 2011 4:01pm PT.

Happy Holidays- no matter which ones you celebrate from Planet Calamari Art Galleria featuring one of a kind art by artist/acupuncturist jeanie mossa.

Happy Happy Hysterectomy Greeting Cards

Is your uterus screaming? Painful menses? Hysterectomy scheduled? Ovarian cysts? You won't find a Hallmark card for those symptoms! On Planet Calamari we share your pain and have designed art for you and your uterus.

To see more cards,gifts and shoes for the menopausal woman visit the Planet Calamari's Screaming Uterus Collection on Zazzle.

Through the Looking Glass Dale Chihuly at the MFA